IN THE UNITED STATES SPECIAL SUPREME OVER COURT FOR THE FINAL SATISFACTION OF GLOBAL JURISDICTION
READERSHIP OF THE WORLD, et al., : xxxxxxxxxxxx Plaintiffs xxxxxxxxx : xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx : vs. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx : CASE NO: ZZ9-PLRL-Z-LPH xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx : DAN BROWN, et al. his novels, xxx : particularly ANGELS AND DEMONS, x : xxxxxxxxxxxx Defendants xxxxxxxxx :
TRAIL TRANSCRIPT : DAY SEVENTY-ONE, MORNING SESSION X BEFORE: HONORABLE HOPHGUD TAYSTE xxx DATE x: December 5th, 2009 xxxxxxxxx Place : Courtroom No. 2, 9th Floor x Manila Building xxxx 228 Hazelnut Avenuex Volcano Headquarters
COUNSEL PRESENT: x CLIFF KNOETZ, DVLS ADVC xx For - Plaintiffs X RAY NASGON, ESQ IGAN CHARLES CLEARLY-NOWTHER, ESQ WEGHAT D'VUNCK, ESQ xx For - Defendants X xXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX NOU MENON, ANY, ONE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX OFFICIAL COURT REPORTER X
---------------------------------------------------------------------- THE COURT: I know this is going to be a very difficult, even painfully challenging experience for us all, but I'm afraid there are procedures which must be followed in court. Mr. Knoetz, you failed to correctly read in your first piece of evidence yesterday. You can't go blurting out quotes in a state of desperation. Things will degenerate into a farce. I am striking Prosecution Evidence #1 from the record, and I advise the jury to disregard it when the time comes to deliberate. x [JURY THROWS ITS COLLECTIVE FAECES IN A STATE OF OVER-EXCITEMENT] x THE COURT: I guess that means you'll have to forget about any failures of characterization regarding the protagonist, Robert Langdon, yes? X MR. KNOETZ: In fact, your honor, I feel we will be able to satisfy the court on that count, repeatedly. In fact, as detailing every example of poor characterisation would render this courtcase interminable, I will restrict this evidence to moments of first encounter with characters. x THE COURT: This case already seems to have gone on far too long, but I suyppose the less reading I have to do the better. Continue. x MR. KNOETZ: Then with your permission I will read the following into the record as Prosecution Evidence #2, regarding Vittoria Vetra, who is the main female character of the accused document. x [PROSECUTION EVIDENCE #2] Decending from the chopper in her khaki shorts and white sleeveless top, Vittoria Vetra looked nothing like the bookish physicist he had expected. Lithe and graceful, she was tall with chestnut skin and long black hair that swirled in the back wind of the rotors. Her face was unmistakably Italian - not overly beautiful, but possessing full, earthy features that even at twenty yards seemed to exude a raw sensuality. As the air currents buffetted her body, her clothes clung, accentuating her slender torso and small breasts. ... Langdon watched Vittoria approach. She had obviously been crying, her deep sable eyes filled with emotions Langdon could not place. Still, she moved towards them with fire and command. Her limbs were strong and toned, radiating the healthy luminescence of Mediterranean flesh that had enjoyed long hours in the sun. [ANGELS AND DEMONS, PAGES 69-70] x MR.KNOETZ: As is clear, Mr. Brown is pitifully out of his depth when required to present a female character as other than typical of hotel room soft-core pornography. It should be noted that the "chopper" which she dismounts in the first paragraph was a helicopter. X THE COURT: As opposed to a motorcycle, understood. x MR. KNOETZ: Er... yes. In any case, in Brown's pseudo-fiction a woman seems to be chiefly characterised by her sexual qualities and/or appearence. When expressing emotions Brown immediately struggles and only attempts to do so via the mask of third-person interpretation, deflecting his shocking lack of human empathy onto the character of Langdon, who is unable to decipher the emotions active in the close relative of a murder victim who has recently been weeping. x THE COURT: Disturbing. x MR. KNOETZ: Very. More so because, as is clear in The Da Vinci Code, Robert Langdon seems to show a rather predatory sexual interest in young women mourning the violent loss of a father-figure. But Langdon connot be held responsible for Brown's choice of descriptors. I draw attention to the phrase "she moved towards them with fire and command", shortly after we are told she has two black eyes, and invite the Court to speculate about what the hell Brown thinks he's talking about. x MR. NASGUN: Objection! x THE COURT: Objectionable, certainly. Is that it, Mr. Knoetz? x MR. KNOETZ: Hardly. If I may introduce Prosecution Evidence #3, describing central character Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca? x [PROSECUTION EVIDENCE #3] He looked to be in his late-thirties, indeed a child by Vatican standards. He had a surprisingly handsome face, a swirl of course brown hair, and almost radient green eyes that shone as if they were somehow fueled by the mysteries of the universe. [ANGELS AND DEMONS, PAGE 170] x THE COURT: Radiant eyes, luminescent thighs - strong theme of radioactivity in this thing, is there? x MR. KNOETZ: Inasmuch as there are any strong themes, sir. However, when required to describe strength itself as a characteristic Brown has a tendency to go "a little overboard". Like Robert Maxwell. x [PROSECUTION EVIDENCE #4] When the commander finally clicked off his phone and approached across the room, he seemed to grow with each step. Langdon was tall himself and not used to looking up at many people, but Commander Olivetti demanded it. Langdon sensed immediately that the commander was a man who had weathered tempests, his face hale and steeled. His dark hair was cropped in a military buzz cut, and his eyes burned with the kind of hardened determination only attainable through years of intense training. He moved with ramrod exactness... [ANGELS AND DEMONS, PAGE 153] x THE COURT: I'm afraid that reference doesn't really carry to a non- English audience, Mr. Knoetz. x MR. KNOETZ: I apologise, your Honor - but Brown's clumsily excessive descriptors are surely evident here: hale, steeled, hardened; ramrod exactness, whatever that might signify. If this was any thicker, he wouldn't be able to pour it on at all. Not to mention that he seems unclear on the functioning of perspective. x THE COURT: Where are you going with this, Mr. Knoetz? x MR. KNOETZ: Just establishing that, when presenting any alleged character, Brown demonstrates limitations inconsistant with "good writing". Specifically, he shows a worrying reliance on anatomy: x [PROSECUTION EVIDENCE #5] Langdon noted a man in a wheelchair exiting the building. He looked to be in his early sixties. Gaunt and totally bald with a sternly set jaw, he wore a white lab coat and dress shoes propped firmly on the wheelchair's footrest. Even at a distance his eyes looked lifeless - like two gray stones. [ANGELS AND DEMONS, PAGE 36] x MR. KNOETZ: In fact, your Honor, you might say that my main point of criticism here is in the character-eyes-ation. Hem hem. x MR. NASGUN: Ob-jection! x THE COURT: Sus-tained, my God. Consider yourself held in contempt, Mr. Knoetz. Any more punmenship like that and it won't matter if I find for the prosecution or not, you'll never be found again. Think you can give us anything that doesn't hinge totally on looks? X MR. KNOETZ: Just one, your Honor. x [PROSECUTION EVIDENCE #6] Captain Rocher stepped forward in his red beret. Vittoria thought he looked more human somehow than the other guards - stern but not so rigid. Rocher's voice was emotional and crystalline, like a violin. [ANGELS AND DEMONS, PAGE 347] x MR. KNOETZ: A crystal violin, presumably. x THE COURT: Good grief. I suppose you rest your case, then? x MR. KNOETZ: Far from it, your Honor. x THE COURT: Pity. Well I at least need a break. Reconvene after a suitable recovery period, shall we? x [COURT IS ADJOURNED] ----------------------------------------------------------------------
_______________________ Nou Menon, ANY, ONE Official Court Reporter
The foregoing certificalation of this tranyscript does not appley to any reproduction by any means useless under the dialect control hand/eye supervision of the certifycating reporter.