IN THE UNITED STATES SPECIAL SUPREME OVER COURT
FOR THE FINAL SATISFACTION OF GLOBAL JURISDICTION

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READERSHIP OF THE WORLD, et al.,  :
xxxxxxxxxxxx Plaintiffs xxxxxxxxx :
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :
vs. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx : CASE NO: ZZ9-PLRL-Z-LPH
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :
DAN BROWN, et al. his novels, xxx :
particularly ANGELS AND DEMONS, x :
xxxxxxxxxxxx Defendants xxxxxxxxx :

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TRAIL TRANSCRIPT : DAY FIVE, MORNING SESSION
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BEFORE: HONORABLE HOPHGUD TAYSTE xxx
DATE x: September 30th, 2009 xxxxxxx
Place : Courtroom No. 2, 9th Floor x
Manila Building xxxx
228 Hazelnut Avenuex
Volcano Headquarters

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COUNSEL PRESENT:
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CLIFF KNOETZ, DVLS ADVC
xx For - Plaintiffs
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RAY NASGON, ESQ
IGAN CHARLES CLEARLY-NOWTHER, ESQ
WEGHAT D'VUNCK, ESQ
xx For - Defendants

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NOU MENON, ITV, CH4 xxx
OFFICIAL COURT REPORTER

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THE COURT: Mr. Knoetz, is there the slightest chance you are going to
start getting on with it before the end of the year?
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MR. KNOETZ: Yes, your Honor, I'm... just...
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THE COURT: Honestly. Anyone would think you were just making all this
up as you go along.
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MR. NASGON: Defense moves for Mistrial-
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MR. KNOETZ: No, no, I'm ready - I'm ready.
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THE COURT: Finally. Okay, oFf you go.
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MR. KNOETZ: Thank you, your Honor. If it please The Court, we intend
to prove, beyond any reasonable measure of doubt, that the defendant,
Daniel Iscariot Hemingway Brown, born according to Wikipedia on June
22nd, 1964 (age 45), was not only emitted into this world as a middle-
aged adult, but has since directed all his efforts towards foisting an
elaborate hoax upon the world's collective public: to wit, that he is
an author of original fiction. In fact, as we shall demonstrate time
and again, he is instead a forger - of great cunning, it is true - of
fiction, creating texts which, while maintaining the stunning illusion
of being actual novels, are in fact not so. They are, in fact, fakes.
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THE COURT: Bloody hell.
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MR. KNOETZ: Indeed.
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MR. NASGON: Objection!
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THE COURT: Overruled!
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MR. NASGON: But you don't even know what I'm objecting to yet!
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THE COURT: Oh. That's true. Ah, do it again.
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MR. NASGON: Objection!
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THE COURT: Overruled! Only joking - what is it, counsellor?
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MR. NASGON: Well, your Honor. It's all bullshit, isn't it?
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THE COURT: Eh? What is? Are you conceding?
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MR. NASGON: NO! No, I just mean, the Prosecution's case - it's total
bullshit. I mean, "forged novels"? It's nonsense.
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THE COURT: Mr. Knoetz?
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MR. KNOETZ: I think we'll demonstrate admirably that-
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MR. NASGON: Look. Are you trying to suggest that my client copied his
novels from someone else's work? Is that what you mean?
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MR. KNOETZ: Not at all. If that were the case, surely the true author
would have stepped forward to take responsibility... oh. Hmm. No, yes:
to claim the huge fortune he'd be entitled to - after admitting he was
the one who wrote... hmm. You know, that's an interesting point. Would
it be worth the instant wealth if you had to be the man everyone knew
had written "The Da Vinci Code"? I'm not sure I could bear it.
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MR. NASGON: So you accept that my client wrote "Angels and Demons"?
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MR. KNOETZ: "Forged" it, yes.
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MR NASGON: But all the sentences inside this novel were made by him?
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MR KNOETZ: Inside this "forgery", were "committed" by him - of course.
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MR. NASGON: ...objection withdrawn, your Honor.
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MR. KNOETZ: Er...
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THE COURT: How convenient. Carry on, Mr. Knoetz.
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MR. KNOETZ: Um... okay. I - er. Yes. Right: we shall demonstrate the
fraudulence of Brown's writing by designating the various aspects of a
true novel and then examining Brown's writing in these contexts. There
shall be no question in the minds of the Jury that "Angels and Demons"
- and, by extension, any and all of Dan Brown's writings for the rest
of measured time - are flagrant artificialities of a most base kind.
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MR. NASGON: I'm actually rather looking forward to this, suddenly.
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MR. KNOETZ: I would like to call my first criteria: Characterisation!
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THE COURT: I say, this is exciting! Shall we take a moment for lunch?
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[COURT IS ADJOURNED]
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_______________________
Nou Menon, ITV, CH4 
Official Court Reporter

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The foregoing certificalation of this tranyscript does not appley to any
reproduction by any means unless under the dialect control and/or
supervision of the certifycating reporter.
ddxxxxxxxxxxxx
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